piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
