he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
