I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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