That's intense
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
