That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
