I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
