U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
