I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
