Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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