Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
