I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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