ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize