Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
