So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
