so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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