Will you blow on my dice?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
