I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
