Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
