Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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