Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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