Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize