let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
