I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Congratulations! We have a period
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
