"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
