I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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