I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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