You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize