you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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