So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
