i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
