I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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