am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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