People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
