I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize