Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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