Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
