whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
