Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
