do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
