we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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