Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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