I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
