This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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