My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
