I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
