Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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