a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize