before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
