She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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