actually, I'm a sock model
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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