oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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