you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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