they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
