What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
