I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
