Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
