think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
well I can't set my house on fire every night
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Less talking, more tequila
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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