For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So vagazzling was a success
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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