i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
