That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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