i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
