Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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